If you’re reading this… thanks already.
You’re back… for Blog #7, and now that you’ve finally crossed the world wide web to get here, the first thing I am going to ask you to do is look away. Shoo. Go. Skedaddle.
I want to challenge you with a brief game, and therefore, I need the next few moments of your time to be screen-free.
Please participate or the rest of the blog will be rotten.
Here are the rules: Please start to take your eyes off your device for me and view your surroundings. Whether this be your workplace, cozy living room, bathroom floor or bedroom. Start to get acquainted with the atmosphere surrounding you. Where are you right now? What things do you see? Soak it in. In what type of environment are you currently bounded?
Now, I need you to start making a mental count and collection of EVERYTHING within your eyes view that is RED… RED. RED. RED. Look harder, deeper, search for it. Pivot those eyes. How many red items can you find in your current environment within’ the next 20 seconds? Maroon? Rose? Dark Pink? Rouge? Challenge yourself. Lift your chin, shift your gaze, see what you can find…. then read on.
OK- return back to me.
Now that your gaze is locked back to this screen, I have a question for you…
Without lifting your gaze- please tell me how many green items you stumbled across in those 20 seconds? Can you recall them? What were they? Make a mental list for me of ALL the items that were GREEN.
What? Didn’t think I would ask?
Tougher than expected?
Definitely would have been easier to recall the red items you were searching for, huh?
Please go ahead now and browse your gaze over the exact same environment you just ingested previously. Lift your head. Take a look. Look harder– and without focussing on any red, can you see more green items now perhaps? Olive? Lime? Emerald? Mint?... I bet you do. Wow. Pure Magic.
And, just like that, without any outside influence or alteration, you’re somehow picking up different ques from the exact same environment. How can this be so?
Well, my scientific hypothesis states: It’s probably because you weren’t focussed on the red shit, that you could finally see the green shit better. The thing is, the green was there all along.
OK, now, a quick terminology dissection- When I refer to the “red shit” I am basically referring to the stuff in life that does NOT serve us (the cranky, easily disturbed, on edge behaviours and the stuff that makes us anxious, uncomfortable, unhappy, etc.). It’s always there, if we choose to look for it, we will find it. It’s not going away, but it certainly is more prominent when we focus on it.
For me, when I am living my life in a red state, I am usually: overworking and becoming stressed, fixating about things I have no control over, worrying about other’s opinions, snapping at my husband, talking negatively about my body, neglecting self-care, not taking time for creativity, feeling anxious and unmotivated, procrastinating on everything etc. Just the not-my-best-life life is red. I am quite certain you have red ways of your own. What drives YOU to the red? How can you recognize when you’re living there? Are you there right now?
On a more light-hearted note, the “green shit” is still there guys. This green represents the opportunities in your life, the chances for growth, the things in your life that promote and encourage you to be your most authentic self, your best life, it’s there. In the green. That scary new job? The chance to finally say SCREW IT and open your own business? That opportunity at school that landed on your lap? The desire to love again after being hurt? Good hugs, “I Love You” moments, your new puppy, your first child, your biggest accomplishments. All the good shit, it’s green. And it’s there. It never left. It also it never going away, but it certainly feels more prominent if you choose to focus on it.
For me, living in the green correlates with expressing gratitude, making time for friends and family, utilizing personal development, working towards a goal, making progress in at least 1 department of my life, feeling engaged with my clients, exercising regularly, learning something new and helping others. When I am living in the GREEN, I am LIVIN’. Green is good.
Now, I am ALSO quite certain that you have green behaviours of your own.
So, time to reflect- what makes life green for you? How do you know if you’re living in the green? Have you been in the green before and need to get back? Is fear preventing you from being greener? There are wonderful green opportunities all around you- are you choosing to see them?
You see, we all love the green shit, we talk about the times when we were more fit, healthier, wealthier, more engaged, more in love, more… green… without realizing our environment is still equipped with green opportunities. Often, we can get so wrapped up in our red view that the green isn’t being seen or processed. We start to surround ourselves with red friends, red support systems, red perspectives. Which all attracts more red into our life- LIKE attracts LIKE- so if you’re seeing red, hanging out with red and talking red- your life is going to feel pretty fucking red. Shame.
And if you’re spending your day looking through the red-lens, guess what the hell you’re gonna see? Red. Damn straight you’re gonna see red, and in those moments, you will totally miss the green.
This happened to me this week. I woke up at 5AM eager to work, learn and tackle the day. I keenly logged into my business Facebook page ready to take on the world, but instead, I opened a nasty comment on my business page from a strange man I have never met in my life. Great way to wake up.
You see, my business (#Perfectfit4u) is one of my greatest assets and biggest accomplishments. So, this shook me. Like a “don’t talk bad about my kid” moment. Red Ashlyn watched as our well-earned perfect 5-STAR rating dropped to a… 4.9. Pure devastation. I let that stupid comment sit with me, I was off, I felt anxious…Red. Red. Red.
I let the red comment linger. It was like a little pebble in the bottom of my runner that day. Poking around and never leaving, reminding me every now and again it was there. Not a big enough deal to cause pain, but just enough to distract and annoy me and put me off. Like common Ash, let it go.
Long story short: Eventually, I reached out to this person personally to put my mind at ease. What did we do wrong? How could I make it better? Who ARE you and why do you hate my company?
This person responds by admittedly having no idea what I was talking about. They mentioned they had never had an experience, not mind a negative one, with my company and they wrote “I must have been hacked”. (LOL, I am serious)
Phewf. 12 hours of worrying for nothing. Crisis Averted.
SO, what a waste of mental space that was. Had I chosen to view the other 99% of customers and comments that recommended our company and sung our praises, I would have been in a much better head space. Waking up with gratitude for THEM would have been a great start to my day. Reading the other fifty 5-star reviews would have had me gleaming with greenery. I should have been celebrating amazing women who are investing their time and money into spending an entire weekend with my staff and I at our first ever retreat. I should have focussed on my amazing athletes’ successes that day opposed to that tiny red comment from a stranger who was completely unreasonable. I ended up spending my entire day in the red for NO REASON, and by doing so, I missed out on showing up fully green in the world.
This very small example lasted one day. But I swear there are MANY people that drag out the red for weeks, months, YEARS. Letting the world pass ‘em by- Work, sleep, repeat. Work, sleep, repeat. Snappy, Cranky, Un-directioned. Never bearing witness to the phenomenal opportunities that could and WOULD bring them so much joy that are passing right by. Red Trap.
If you’re sitting there wondering if there are truly green opportunities there for you- A new job? A spiritual awakening? A passion project? A perfect man? A new friend? I am telling ya… they’re there. They’re there RIGHT NOW. In the green. But you MUST change your perspective in order to see them clearly.
Are you going to find a new job by complaining daily about how much money you make and how much of a dick your current boss is? No. That’s red shit.
Are you going to have a spiritual awakening if you refuse to read a book, meditate or practice your spirituality and instead spend 2 hours per evening gazing at other people’s lives in squares on social media? Nah. You won’t. That’s red shit.
Are you going to find the love of your life by drinking yourself silly every weekend and heading to the bar wearing just enough clothes to cover your nipples? Nope. Probably not. Green guys usually don’t chill there.
All of the amazing opportunities you’re searching for in life, whatever that may be for you, they are THERE- in front of you- but until you change your perspective, until you start actively LOOKING for the green, you won’t see them clearly.
The chances for self-improvement rarely fall out of the sky and land on your lap. Open your mind. Be willing to receive them and begin washing away the red lens you’re viewing life with.
Here are 3 tips I personally use to keep my perspective in the green:
- I establish a morning routine that includes gratitude– This allows me to re-set my attitude DAILY before I go out into the world. My morning routine includes moments of gratitude (yes, MOMENTS- like.. 20 fricken’ seconds) and this routine is non-negotiable because it allows me to show up as my best self. If you re-set your lens to green every day, you are going to see more green. I have gone from complete frustration to tears of joy over the same circumstance simply by reflecting and showing gratitude. (wedding planning for example, can be hellish, stressful and painful OR it can be the best times of your life- I chose to see it as the latter every day and planned my wedding without 1 breakdown or bridezilla moment. Green win!).
- I surround myself with other green people- If you surround yourself with positivity, people who lift you up, bring you joy and love the YOU that YOU love- it’s quite hard to view life differently. As Jim Rohn says, “you are an average of the 5 people you spend the most time with”– so I ensure those 5 people are green people. If you’re consistently living with, talking to and supporting “red” people- start to limit that time and venture out to find a tribe that can support you being your best. (Side note: you CANNOT change red people to green people- THAT IS ON THEM, do not take on that project)
- I take action to stay green– were ALL gonna find ourselves viewing life through the red sometimes, but recognizing this and making an effort to change it ensures you’re not living your life there. What makes you happy and brings you joy? Can you do more of THAT? For me, if I am flustered, upset, snappy, red- I head to the gym, I drop weights, I run really fast, I call another green friend, I listen to motivational podcasts, I read books that warm my heart. It’s hard to keep a red perspective when you’re taking green actions.
This blog my friends, opening this blog, reading to the end, taking note of where your headspace is at right now, is a green action. You’ve just taken one. Now, do me a favour and continue your day in this fashion- show gratitude, smile at strangers, move your ass, kiss your partner, daydream about your goals- and before you know it, more green will be attracted into your life, simply because you made the decision to see it.
So, folks, that’s it. This officially wraps up my first MONTH ever of being a blogger. I am loving it.
If you feel as though my blogs put YOU in the green, I’d love for you to drop me a comment, or provide your email at the bottom of the page so you can follow along and be informed when I write the next one!
From your green friend,