If you’re reading this… thanks already.

Dear Blogger Friends,

If this is the first time you’ve stumbled across this blog, hello, welcome, don’t leave. If you are back cause you invested hours reading the first 7 entries, we can certainly be considered best friends and you now know more about me than most.

Confession- I haven’t been as consistent with posting content on this blog as I may have hoped- because, well, 1) I am no longer travelling Europe without a care in the world and 2) My lack of flow and inspiration the last few weeks had been sorta’…blah. Words tend to spew out of me when I am in-the-flow with my own energy (sounds a little woo-woo huh?) but it’s real sister, there are days where a post-orgasmic type of euphoria fills me and I get tingles in my toes and fingers as I burst at the seams with expression and ideas, walking around, more like floating, flowing rather through the day- Now, THAT’S the good stuff. Can you feel it?

Other days though, like the ones I was experiencing the last few weeks, I am forcefully picking up my feet like an astronaut who just touched gravity on Earth again- no sense of orientation, super un-directioned, and the weight the world on my shoulders. What a drag.

So, after spending mounds of time soul-searching amidst the fog of my hot bath-tub, I have started to feel my vibe again. So here I am, with blog number 8, ready to vomit my passion all over you ‘cause words are my friend again.

So, this is the thing, I am a goal seeker. A planner. A step-by-step, go make a list, get it done, check-it-off girl and now that I am back home, happily married with no wedding to plan, no honeymoon to jet-off on, no big speech to write, no competition or challenge to train for, I found myself going a little stir-crazy.

You know the saying, “if you want something done, give it to a busy woman” … Ya, that’s me- I get shit done when… I am getting shit done. LIKE attracts LIKE. Energy creates MORE energy. So I have been finding myself asking the Universe “OK.. YO’! WHAT IS NEXT FOR ME?… BRING IT ON”… but there was no quick reply, so in the interim, I found myself catching up on all the PVR’ed reality-melt-your-brain TV I missed while I was gone this summer while I somehow spent more time at work but yet got less done. Productivity level was a solid NULL.

But after many hot baths and an average of 25km of steady state outdoor cardio per week, energy has begun manifesting itself within me once again. I opened my mind and was ready to receive it, and damnit, I did. To do so, I personal-development-ed the shit out of myself. Run, Yoga, Read, Podcast, Meditate, Sleep. Now, I am inspired. I’m lit up like a Christmas tree and ready to share my personal revelations with ya’ll.

Recently, I’ve come to realize that stress (Eustress, good stress, but still… stress) was taking up a lot of mental space for me. I was investing a ton of my time and energy (and money) into planning and preparing for some big milestone events that it left no space for the daydreaming, the creativity, the inspo, the Authentically Ashlyn if you will. I was constantly dealing with the “urgent but not important” matters and checking things off the to-do list. My tempo was a solid 9/10 at all times. I was happy as hell this year, but busy as f*ck.

And now, things are feeling different. The to-do list is becoming shorter in my personal life and there is now white space in my mind that is allowing a new type of energy to seep in. An energy not filled with panic, planning and productivity- rather, an energy that feels encouraged, moved and inspired. It’s crazy I never realized I was stressed or overly busy until the time finally passed over me. But, the clouds have lifted, and now, all of a sudden, this newfound white space is available for lease. New thoughts, new motivation, new ideas… they’re all coming to me at once ready to secure this primo brain-space-real-estate that was once occupied by other things.

So, opposed to just shoving these new and exciting thoughts back to where they came from and continuing onward with my pre-established goals- I have decided to set them free onto this screen in order to digest them fully. A personal diary of pristine thoughts if you will. A diary-type exposition for ya’ll that will allow me to decipher these new and powerful feelings I am experiencing.

I am a spider-web of emotions here ready to unravel on your screen. I hope my online audience can find entertainment in my whirlwind of ideas, while I find the comfort and clarity needed in digesting them.

So here we go, an all-over-the-place, tell-you-how-I-feel-right-now mess of words coming right at cha’:                                                                                                                                                                    So, it was just last weekend that I had the absolute privilege of hosting a 3-day, 2-night Health and Wellness Retreat for 30 fabulous women. My amazing staff and I put together a product (service rather) that was a step outside of our comfort zone. Hosting a Wellness Retreat that encompassed MORE than “nutrition and training” was a risk. After-all, Perfectfit4u has been known for our food and fitness programming and weight-loss transformations. So, a retreat? Huh? with yoga? And campfires? meditation? Time management and vision boards? This was new. This wasn’t food science and weight lifting. But, we gave it a shot, and I’d say it was quite successful. It’s neat to see my staff and I take a step outside the ordinary and to see our supporters respond so positively.

As a business owner, I took away a million and one things to do differently for next time, but in addition, I took away mounds of purpose and passion for why I love my career so very much. It wasn’t the laser tag or climbing wall, group workouts or team activities that sparked my enjoyment- rather, it was the moments between and before planned activities where I was able to converse and listen to these women’s stories, fears and dreams. The conversation, the revelations, the AH HA moments: that’s what I am passionate about. I felt like I was in a good space that weekend, doing what I love, doing what I am good at, in the flow with my energy- and I wasn’t talking about macros and carbs, workout schedules and cardio- I was doing more than that for people. Warm fuzzies.

In addition to spending the weekend in the wilderness with 30 great women, last week also included my New Client Consultations at the Perfectfit4u office for our next “Transformation Challenge”- a 12 week challenge offered through my company that focuses on the physical (and more recently, the mental) changes that can take place when you crash course your health, fitness and personal development over a 3 month time frame. These women spoke to me about the struggles they’re facing and what brought them to my office that day with a new willingness to change. We spoke about WHY they are ready for a transformative experience at this point in their life. I listened to their future goals and aspirations and spent time visualizing what life will look like for them a few months down the road. These are the times in my job when I feel in my element, in my flow.

I can’t explain my pure passion any better than this: but when I am listening to someone’s struggles or current life battles, and they share their story, their passion, or their dreams with me, I have this overwhelming amount of liveliness that overcomes me, like a steady ocean wave that soon turns tsunami-type energy- I just.want.to.help. I just know I can help. I need to help. I CAN help.

Although often to my own demise, my overwhelming passion often leads me to believe in people WAY more than they believe in themselves- but I have NO problem reminding them. My sole purpose at PF4U is to be the voice that reminds people what they’re capable of achieving. I also know that, sometimes, all people need is one person who boldly believes in them. I guess you could say that my passion is being that person. I genuinely feel this belief for greatness every time a woman walks into my office and asks for my help. I feel this conviction in my gut and in my bones. I KNOW they can achieve what they set out to do. I just wish they all believed it too.

Now, I have had hundreds, even thousands of these conversations in my adult life, but it is only more recently, that I have come to realize that the relationship people are having with food, fitness, and THEMSELVES is not always a 12 week fix with a custom fitness program- this transformative experience is often…deep shit. There are root causes for people’s behaviour, there is a reason they self-sabotage or lack commitment or try every single diet with short term success or binge eat to cope with life stressors – and guess what? These women often require a coach who’s ready to go deep with them, often deeper than what nutrition and training can offer.

This is my thing. I want to go deep with people. I want to kick their limiting beliefs ass and introduce them to personal development material. I want to discuss goal-setting and time management, weekly priorities and passions. I want to recommend books and podcasts and more sleep and meditation. I want to talk about their fears and relationships, body-image and self-care. I want to introduce visualization, affirmations, proper nutrition and the joys of exercise into people’s lives at their own pace and readiness. I want to see people get excited about their LIFE, not just their abs or waistline, progress photo or new weight goal. I want women to be the hero of their own life, while I am their guide. I know I am destined to help people with their WHOLE pie, not just the slice we call “Nutrition and Training” – you get me yet?

You see, my mission is to help women build better lives for themselves through health and fitness. I want to help people become more alive. I want to be a mentor, a leader, a teacher and guide for as many women as I can.

But, here is the kicker, the thing that is perpetrating my white-space brain real-estate right now: I am starting to believe that I cannot help people get EVERYTHING they need from me and my team by providing them a nutrition and workout plan, a text hotline and sporadic check-in’s. Yes, I am a fitness coach and YES this is a fitness-approach- but I KNOW there is more to it than this. I can SEE it. I can FEEL it. When I sit across from a woman and absorb her struggles and life-long issues with food and health, I know there is MORE I can do to help than what the status of my business currently offers. Growth is in the making folks, I’ am feelin’ it.

Yes, my team and I can provide a custom guide that tells you what to EAT in a day. Yes, my team and I can provide you a custom guide that can helps you achieve weight-loss, or muscle growth, or body composition alterations. Fantastic.

BUT- then what? Will you be happy? Will your history and life-long shit relationship with food be solved because you weigh 20 lbs. less? Will the binge-eating till 2AM because something shitty happened just POOF up-and-leave because you hired me for 3 months? Nope. Not unless the deeper-rooted issues are addressed, and that shit takes CARE, TRUST, TIME, PATIENCE and someone with impeccable belief in people.

There are reasons women come to me after years of not taking care of themselves, and I promise you, 90% of them show-up in my office because something in their past has sent them for a whirlwind and they now realize they need ACCOUNTABILITY and SUPPORT and a MINDSET shift more than “knowledge and a plan”- Let’s be honest- my team fricken’ ROCKS: were educated, knowledgeable and passionate- and yes, we will make you a FANTASTIC nutrition and training regime- but… I know people need MORE from us. My question is- how are we going to fill that gap?

So, this is where I am stuck blogger friends- HELP! How the hell can a chick with all this “nutrition” education, who runs a company called “Perfectfit4u Nutrition and Training” somehow break those barriers for people? Am I educated enough to go deep with them? Do I have the proper credentials to address their psychological issues and current mindset? If not, should or could I obtain them? Can I talk to them about their relationships? Their passions? Their children? Their time management? Would people come to me to talk about MORE than health and fitness? Or is this what I am forever branded as? Am I always going to be “the blonde bikini chick” or can I leverage my love for fitness to be seen as more?

When all big realizations in life come to surface, fear will creep in and try to hold me back from breaking through the current mold I have built for myself. This time will be no different.

I am continually asking myself- Can I even be that person? Can I break those barriers for people? Would they even trust me? Could the Perfectfit4u brand be seen as MORE than nutrition and fitness? What even qualifies me to help women with self-love issues?

There is not a text-book education that exists to help women with something so intimate- that connection between food, body, self-love and personal development- but someone has to work on that connection. I want to work on that connection.

So, this leaves me to where I am right now: begging the world to show me a tangible and palpable way that I can make this happen. I have spent the last 8 years of my life learning about FOOD, chemistry, food science, functional movement patterns and proper squat form and now everything I see for myself long-term requires a MUCH different and deeper approach then the foundation my company is currently built upon. This will require a ton of reassessing, building, branding and creating- all of which I am more than willing to do. All of which I have already STARTED to do. This reassessment of everything we have built is exciting and… nerve wracking. I think this is what they talk about when they say success is a journey, not a destination. I am thinking business-building might be about leveraging what you’re good at (Nutrition and Training) in hopes of gaining credibility in the sectors you want to explore further (self-help, personal development, confidence, etc.) and this is exactly the approach we are going to take. I believe ACTION will create CLARITY- so acting now and taking steps towards the type of brand and business I want to represent is necessary for life-long fulfillment. So watch me work.

Although I haven’t outlined a business plan and a 5 year goal by the end of this mindless brain-dump of emotion I am writing today, I certainly have come to the conclusion that my long-term hope is to have Perfectfit4u represent MORE than physical progress photos, MORE than beautiful bikini athletes and MORE than nutrition and fitness plans. My hope is that our current community, staff and supporters are open to the ideas and passion that are currently flooding over me as my team and I make this transition. I am starting to make the moves necessary to provide current and future PF4U participants the tools and resources to go deep and I look forward to having ya’ll come along for this “more-than-weight-loss” evolution.

At the end of the day, I have come to realize that my ultimate goal during my time on this Earth is to make the BIGGEST impact possible, and so, I have to ask myself- is what I am doing right now going to get me there? Am I made for more than food and fitness?

I know now- the answer is yes.

If you want to see how this transition unravels what I am up to next, I encourage you to follow along by leaving your email for me so you can be notified each time a new blog is released 🙂

Thank you for reading!