If you’re reading this, thanks already.
“𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐈 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐈 𝐧𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐲”
This is a conversation I’ve had many times with women who have ventured on a Transformation Journey: shedding the pounds, gaining the muscle, developing their body into its most perfected form.
Others take notice of these changes, no doubt. Attention is received. Praise for their new body flows from all directions. It feels good to be recognized, especially after years of hiding their bodies, their pride and their confidence. TA-DA they did it – and everyone flocks to high-five and jaw-drop over the changes. This reassurance begins to correlate their worth with their body. A tough headspace. A tough trap to get out of. Trust me, I’ve been there. Some days, I’m still there.
The downfall: the transformation is often short lived, the look is NOT always sustainable & the appearance related compliments come to an end, fast. The praise is reverted, the recognition declines, the attention is null, the show is over. This leaves the post-goal-what-to-do-who-am-I mindset to kick into full force.
Que: depression, discouragement and a desire to hang onto a physique that is no longer. Que: an internal fight with a changing body.
Recognizing the physical changes is SO encouraging to those who are busting their ass to achieve this look- but what we, as coaches and spectators of change need to be weary of, is correlating success with ONLY physical appearance- especially if the look achieved is unsustainable and gained through massive lifestyle change.
I am writing this post ‘cause I KNOW the women behind the transformations, and I KNOW they are NOT THEIR BODIES. I KNOW the discipline, the work ethic, the passion and the drive: the true reason for celebration.
Although I, myself, am guilty for jaw-dropping and high-fiving: I really want to bring awareness to HOW to celebrate transformation and HOW we communicate this to our loved ones.
Here are some of my favourite NON-appearance related compliments:
- You’re a kick ass friend.
- Your energy is contagious.
- You make me laugh and I love your humour.
- Being around you makes me happy.
- You are so intelligent.
- Your passion for life is infectious.
- You are extremely dedicated.
- I love how you love others.
- You inspire me to become better.
- You are a fantastic mom.
- I can depend upon you.
- I love and trust you.
- I can tell how hard you work for your family.
- I am really proud to be your friend.
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