If you’re reading this, thanks already.
If you have been following along on the Authentically Ashlyn blog, you know that I have been expressing my writing in the form of poetry for a few years now. Today, I am going to share a poem from my very first published book To All The Moms That Came Before Me.
This poem is very near and dear to my heart and I believe that many moms in the thick of postpartum can relate to the exhaustion, desperation and helplessness felt on those extra hard days of motherhood.
To all my fellow Mamas: I hope you read this poem and know you aren’t alone.
To the Mom Who Had a Hard Day
I heard my baby should be cluster feeding,
but all she does is cluster cry,
I’ve paced the house for 6 hours now,
still unsure as to why.
My baby is supposed to sleep,
it says it right here on this app,
but she has her own schedule now,
and her mom just needs a nap.
I guess this is what they call a meltdown,
I knew it would come one day,
when my baby was too young to communicate,
learn, run or play.
I look at her crying to me,
for all reasons still unknown,
I pace by the window to look for her dad,
so I can finally have time alone.
How can you love something so much,
while it simultaneously pulls you apart?
How can something so precious to me-
continue to break my heart?
I am a good mom, right?
I just really need a break.
It’s 3AM and we’re up again –
please God, I don’t want to be awake.
I shush and feed
and maybe cry a little too,
and remind myself –
for both of us – this is still so new.
So this is a poem I wrote,
through the fussing, the cries and the screams,
To remind all moms – you’re doing GREAT,
even when you’ve met your extremes.
It’s OK to have those days mama,
the ones where you’re boiling over,
‘cause one day you’ll just blink,
and your baby will be growing older.
So if your days are filled with nothing else,
but keeping your baby living-
then you’re doing it all right mom,
this is a family you’re building.
If you enjoyed this glimpse of my book or know a friend who would, please check out my postpartum poetry book: To All The Moms That Came Before Me